Kultur 6

I suppose that the article about garbage was most interesting to me because it's one of the things that I remember about Germany that I thought was really cool when I visited. At first I was bewildered, and I didn't really get it, but eventually I caught on. I wonder if that would ever work here in America. I think it would be good if it did, I mean, it seems pretty smart. At the same time though, I'm pretty lazy so sometimes I do just carelessly toss things. Germany seems so orderly. I really admire that. I wonder if I'd get tired of following all those rules though. But I do like rules. But not necessarily the knocking one. I'm a kind of person who almost needs permission in order to enter a room. One knock usually doesn't do it for me. But I suppose if they didn't really want you there they'd lock the door, right?

AMD 6

For my last AMD I watched my favorite TV show, 30 Rock, in German. I was surprised at how much I understood. Not extremely surprised though, being a TV junkie. It was very easy for me to guess what things meant because I understood the context. Some of the words were not changed or were at least very similar to their English counterparts. Zum Beispiele:

• Tracy frequently says "Yo" and "Hey Jacky-D". These did not change in the German dub. 
• Tracy is always contractually obligated to bring up "Wayde Boggs Carpet World" whenever possible. In the German dub Tracy said "Wayde Boggs Teppich Welt"
• Someone in the show asked for "Trinktjoghurt" (drinkable yogurt)

One of my favorite quotes from 30 Rock is in this episode so I was so excited to hear how it was said in German! This is what I heard at least, I'm not sure if it's right: 

     Liz: Schau okay aus?

     Cerie: Ganz genau sehen sie aus!

     Translation:

    Liz: Do I look okay?

    Cerie: That's exactly how you look!

Kultur 5

The article about women in Germany was very interesting because I couldn't help but compare it to the little I know about French culture. I'm not by any means an expert but it seems to me that when it comes to women in the workplace the French are a little more sexist. I think this is the same in German but in France there are different names for male and female professions. For example, a male postal worker is facteur but a female postal worker is factrice. Also, the French sometimes are very typical and refuse to make any distinction at all in the word spelling and simply add "femme (woman)" to the end of the profession to make the distinction. (Example: un ingénieur (male engineer), une femme ingénieur (female engineer)) This however differs in French speaking parts of Canada where they have adopted different spellings for female occupations. Obviously we don't have a distinction like that for most professions in English. I know there isn't perfect gender equality here, but I like to think that it's pretty close. I've read articles that suggest thinking differs from language to language. Like that article we read earlier said a German speaker may think of bridges as beautiful and elegant because bridge is a feminine noun but to a French speaker bridges might be powerful and sturdy because bridge is a masculine noun to them. I'm not calling these languages sexist of course, but it does make me think that gender inequality may stem from these simple nouns.
Anyways, I think this is a great achievement for German women. It really amazed me to learn how progressive women are as far as getting an education and entrepreneurship. It's comforting to hear that there isn't much of difference in earnings between men and women. There is a difference, but it's rather slim, 99% wasn't it? It reminded me of an interview I heard of a woman, Lilly Ledbetter, who held a position at a Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company  in Alabama. She shared the highest position in the company with two other men but was paid significantly less just because she was a woman. She calculated that she had lost out on an enormous sum of money because of pay discrimination. Eventually the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act was signed into affect because of her story.

AMD 5

     For this AMD I decided to see what Reddit had to offer about Germany. There are many subreddits that are helpful from a linguistic and cultural standpoint. For example, some Germans will post things like, "As a German, this is how I imagine American teenagers" and then a ridiculous, satirical post will follow.
      Other posts are questions submitted by Americans or other non-Germans and  a wide variety of answers are provided. For example the question "What would be the German equivalent to 'I know, right?'" and several answers such as "Aber echt!" and "Ja, total!" were given. Now, I'm taking a leap of faith and trusting the internet here, I'm not sure it's always right, but it's nice to think that it is. Some people ask advice about where to travel to Germany and where can you get the best beer in Austria, etc.
     A subreddit that caught my eye is called Learn a New Language - German. Most of the posts on this subreddit tend to be about grammar and general questions about the German language.

     Have you ever wondered what a German safety video is like? Better yet, have you ever pondered the do's and don'ts of forklift operation? Well, if you're not squeamish today is your lucky day. (Seriously. This is not for the faint of heart. This video is extreme. NSFW (literally). Perhaps this is an example of crazy German humor. But yes, it's crazy. I can't tell if it's serious or not. I did learn a lot though.)
Forklift Driver Klaus

Aimée and Jaguar

     For my AMD I decided to watch the film "Aimée and Jaguar". It's a love story destined to be tragic. Set in Berlin during World War II, the wife of a Nazi officer falls in love with another girl, a girl she does not know is Jewish. The story is true, based on the real life love affair between Lilly Wust and Felice Schragenheim. This film is very emotional and many scenes are very beautiful, but it's incredibly depressing. It's a fantastic insight to the prejudice and fears Jewish people faced in that time. Also, because people are so scared all the time they use a lot of imperatives! Everything seems to be life or death so imperatives were not uncommon. I think this film also captures how beautiful all sounds of the German language are. For example, when the characters are panicked  their speech is harsh and sounds scary, typical German. But for every intense perilous scene, there is a love scene and the language in that is absolutely beautiful. The speech is so tender and seems almost a different language from the scene just before it. This film makes the variety of German very apparent. Also, if you're looking for something gushy to say to a beloved you may want to take a few quotes from this movie. Some of the lines are based on real life letters exchanged between Lilly and Felice, they're so sappy. This film is risque at some points, and very very sad so it may not be for the faint of heart, but I believe it is valuable both historically and linguistically.

Zum Beispiel: Here is a scene of Felice and her friends receiving food stamps and prejudice at a party.

Kultur 4

     The Kaptiel 4 articles made me even more fond of Germany. I'm horrible at jaywalking, and I can't stand the guilt I feel with it. It's so risky, right? Not really I guess, but it's just one of those things my parents discouraged in my youth. I still haven't gotten used to it here in Ann Arbor, I always wait for the red hand to go away. Anyhow, it'd be comforting for me to be in a place with like-minded people who don't mind waiting just a moment to cross the street. I really don't think jaywalking is that bad, I'm just not a fan. I find it humorous that Germans will speed up if you disobey. I guess I did experience that when I was in Germany a couple years ago. My friends and I waited for what seemed like several minutes to cross the street because every time we put a foot in the road it seemed a car zoomed out of nowhere. We were all flabbergasted, especially since we were standing very close to a 40 km/hour sign. It's kind of strange to think that was one of the first culture shocks we had. I suppose pedestrian life really is quite different there.

Kultur 3

I found the articles about German humor the most interesting. I like to think that I have a good sense of humor, I find mostly everything humorous. I never have gotten the appeal of Marcell the Shell however. Anyways, a lot of people don't even get my humor. For example, whenever my brother and I get into a hot car we always yell "Flames!!" because, you know, it's so hot that it's like fire. It's hilarious, we crack up every time. But whenever I try to explain that to someone else I get the occasional courtesy chuckle, but it's never amusing to them. Maybe it's because I love TV. So much of my humor has been influenced by Jerry Seinfeld, Tina Fey, Louis C.K., etc. I shouldn't even begin to talk about this, I'll never stop. I wish we had Karneval here. That would literally be a dream come true for me. I love jokes. I like to think that I have an extensive repertoire. So extensive that I'd be able to go to Germany and get laughs in any region? Probably not. But I know I have better stuff than that hunting joke.

AMD 2

     A couple weeks ago a video of a guy named Flula was posted onto Reddit. It was basically a video of him complaining why it's stupid to shoot fish in a barrel. You already caught the fish, why do you need to kill them? It was very funny but now I appreciate the humor even more after reading the Kultur 2 texts. Flula is everything that is German. He starts out every video extremely distraught. Usually saying something like "So I haf dis DJ friend. And he say to me, 'Flula. You are preaching to the choir'...What? There is no choir here. And I would not preach to it". He complains about everything! One of my favorites is when someone tells him he is the cat's pajamas. He takes it as a death threat.
     It's strange to think of idioms that are so common in  English being a puzzle to people who are not native speakers. Because really, a lot of them don't make sense. A lot of them have strange origins from the Middle Ages. One of my friends gifted me a book of strange English sayings. Most of them say "This phrase originated in the courts of Queen Elizabeth"or something like that. For example the phrase "Put your best foot forward". Apparently footwear was a sign of how well off you were. So at fancy parties, you would present yourself putting your best dressed foot forward. Neat, right? So most of these sayings at one time made sense, but English speakers don't use them without knowing their origin. So Flula's hilarious confusion is alright by me. I'd be certainly confused if I was him.

     Here's another Flula video!

     Hier is a website with German idioms that might confuse me. One of my favorites is "bis in die Puppen gehen" which literally translates to "to go to the dolls". What on earth could that mean? Apparently it means "very lengthy"...Ich verstehe nicht...

Kultur 2

     The deeper I got into these Kultur articles the more I wanted to be German for a day. Wouldn't that be fun? So I'm going to start now by complaining about things. There are so many times I've lied through my teeth about Christmas gifts and whatnot. I think Americans try too hard to be nice. It's nice to be nice. But honesty is good too. I've always been the sort of person that likes others to be as comfortable as possible, even though it may result in my own discomfort. But not much bothers me, so it's all good. It's not that I'm a liar, I'm just trying to be nice. It's so confusing!
      I think our American accomidativeness (not a word) is especially apparent when you look at new college roommates. I didn't know my roommate before and I was trying so hard to keep the peace. We were so passive, it was almost funny. For the first few weeks of school I always went to bed with the lights on because she'd still be doing homework in the library and I wanted to make sure she could see when she got home. One day she finally told me to turn the lights off at bedtime and I asked "Are you sure?" about a thousand times. But we are totally upfront about some things. Even then we try to be tactful, "I think we should rent a vacuum this week. I've been shedding like crazy!" You see, it's just not acceptable to say "Please clean up your hair, this is getting ridiculous". Is that even too direct for the Germans? I suppose I can't even wrap my head around how blunt they are. I always have to beat around the bush when it comes to "confrontation".
      Girls really have a problem with bluntness. We're always saying "Oh my word! You look so great today!" We can't really be honest with each other when it comes to the "How do I look?" question. I wish people would just be honest. I'd rather find out about a run in my tights when I still have time to change them rather than at the end of the day. Like when I sat on a bench in the diag and I got chalk all over my jeans. Oh my word, I looked like such a fool. If only there was someone to save me.

Struwwelpeter

     Arguably one of the greatest Dwight moments in the history of The Office is the Struwwelpeter moment. For the longest time Struwwelpeter was my favorite word and I had no clue what it meant. Let's see if you love it as much as I did (if this video works, I'm so sorry if it doesn't!)

Klicken Sie hier and go to 0:53

     Or maybe you have seen a modified version of Struwwelpeter on Family Guy?

     Anyhow, Struwwelpeter, he's hilarious, richtig?

     FALSCH.

     I wasn't suprised to discover that Struwwelpeter was a horrifying character popularized by cautionary tales but still, it's rather shocking that parents actually used to tell their kids about him. 

     During my research of Struwwelpeter I was reminded of what I already knew about punishment in Germany.
     When I went to Rothenburg ob der Tauber last summer I paid a visit to the Rothenburg Crime Museum. Most of what I saw was amusing because it reinforced stereotypes I held about German people and their obscene punishments for trivial things. Here were some of my favorites:

• A device which locked a victims feet in place, permitting passerbys to tickle them.
• Silly, and rather scary, shame masks

           and perhaps best of all...

• Detailed dioramas of how punishment was to be executed at school:

I'm not joking, the dolls are actually set up like this.

This one's my favorite. Let's zoom in for a closer look, ja?

Zeigen Sie das Kind im Knast!!

     So anyways, going into my research I had this conception that Germans were hilariously cruel. I suppose it's a matter of perception but I proved myself right. Unfortunately it's also a bit heartbreaking.

     Struwwelpeter is a book of cautionary tales written for children in 1845 by Heinrech Hoffmann. The tale popularized by The Office and Family Guy was the story of Little Suck-a-Thumb. Basically it's the story of a boy, let's call him Little Suck-a-Thumb, who likes to suck his thumb. His mother must go out on errands but first she says "Don't suck your thumbs when I'm gone or else someone will cut them off and that'd be horrible." But Little Suck-a-Thumb sucks his thumb anyways and a man comes in his house and cuts off his thumbs. Then Little Suck-a-Thumb's mother comes home and says "Too bad so sad, I knew you couldn't do it."

     Obviously this is meant to discourage thumb sucking. The whole book is meant to discourage bad behavior. And what a great idea, right? To learn what is wrong and right through a book entitled "Lustige Geschichten und drollige Bilder mit 15 schön kolorierten Tafeln für Kinder von 3–6 Jahren" (or "Funny Stories and Whimsical Pictures with 15 Beautifully Coloured Panels for Children Aged 3 to 6"). I suppose that some people react like me and think it's just hilarious but I'm sure a child in 19th century Germany wouldn't be too ecstatic about some of the stories I just read (in the English translation. You can too here.):

• Der Struwwelpeter: The boy that never washed his hair or cut his nails...he had no friends
• Die gar traurige Geschichte mit dem Feuerzeug: The story of a girl who thought matches were beautiful. Even though her mother told her not to touch them, else she'd be burned, she did anyways...and then burned to death.
• Die Geschichte vom Suppen-Kaspar: The story of a mollig boy who is spoiled and won't eat his soup. For four days he continues his hunger strike getting thinner and thinner...eventually starving to death on the fifth day.
• Die Geschichte von Hans Guck-in-die-Luft: The story of a boy that likes to look in the sky when he walks around.Eventually he falls into a pond...and gets teased by fish because he ruined his notebook
• Die Geschichte vom fliegenden Robert: The story of a boy who is warned not to go out when the weather is bad but he does anyway and flies away...never to be seen again

     Okay, some of these are a little silly, right? It's just hard to imagine a parent saying to a child "Don't do this. You'll die a painful death". Maybe some German families handled punishment in different ways but those with a copy of Struwwelpeter better beware. 

  

     Want to see a really creepy adaptation of Little Sucks-a-Thumb? Klicken Sie hier! 

      Warning: This is a little bit unsettling. I don't wish to be responsible for einen Albtraum!

Kapitel 1 Kultur

     The article I read from the Max Kade institute made me reevaluate my own German heritage and how it's been absent from my life. I am of German and Polish heritage. My mother's family was as Polish as Polish could be. My father's family...well they're a little more American. As a child, I remember nearly nothing "German" from my father's side of the family. I think one time we had German potato salad? Or maybe it was Americanized. I definitely told people I was German:

The first day of school every single year: "Kotlzer? Koller? Kollzer? Kolser?"

Me: "It's pronounced 'Kelzer' actually. It's German. Silent 'O'. Whatever."

     My mother was proud of her heritage and still finds nearly any Polish joke funny, but she seemed fine with raising an All-American family until she realized my family had virtually no traditions. Well, we had traditions like waffles on Sundays or summer camping trips, but nothing that connected to our heritage.
One year my mom had the best idea ever: Gingerbread Houses. How German is that, right? German enough. So every year the day after Thanksgiving our house smells spectacular. We knead the dough while my mom carefully plays architect. Each year a member of my family chooses a house design to make. We've done everything from classic elf houses to Dorthy's house in the land of Oz. We constructed Neuschwanstein castle (right) last year! My mother and I visited the castle when we were in Europe last summer. The trip to Europe made us realize how awesome Germany really is. I wish that we had hung onto more of our culture but I think gingerbread is a gut stand-in for now.
     Anyways, my mom decided to share this brand new tradition with all of my German cousins. All 30 of them to be exact. Every year dozens of my cousins are awed by my family's masterful creation and then try to immiate with their own miniature house. Usually it just ends up being globs of frosting and candy canes, but sometimes you get a standout like Santa getting eaten alive by gummy worms.
So, in attempts to try to tie this all together...
Gingerbread is awesome by itself. But for me it's more than that. I'm so thankful for it. I know that sounds weird but really, without it, I'd hardly even feel German.

Mein Leiblingswort ist Schneeball

Mein Leiblingswort ist schneeball.